Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
