dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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