I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
