ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
