I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
