dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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