the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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