I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
