I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
