that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
