Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
