her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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