So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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