The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think your dad took our porno
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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