South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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