On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
