Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
