Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
