Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
