Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
