how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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