It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
