My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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