is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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