i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
