thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
