we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
