Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
