I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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