she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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