its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I want is dick and wine.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
