I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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