He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
