Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
