If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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