he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
