i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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