Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
