Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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