I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
