Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
