ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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