of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
