I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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