I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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