Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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