oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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