ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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