I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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