You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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