Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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