I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
