you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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