I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This girl is more easily done than said...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
