Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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