I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
