She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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