Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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