What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Come see our sink grown plant.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
