It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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