If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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