sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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